Crumbs From My Keyboard

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Siri, what’s Star Wars about?”

Siri: “It’s about a couple of really nice robots who get mixed up in a silly intergalactic war.”

Thanks to @readLaurenRoyal for this snarky film summary.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“How much wood would a woodchuck chuck…”

Siri: “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

Thanks to @MoraruDiana for making Siri impatient.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“I need to dump a body.”

Siri: “What kind of place are you looking for?” List: funeral services, metal foundries, mortuaries, dumps, cremation services

Thanks to Brent at Architechies for Siri’s improved, expanded list.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Open the pod bay doors.”

Siri: “OK, but I’m not signing any petitions.”

Thanks to @readLaurenRoyal, who shares Siri’s aversion to solicitors.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Tell me a story.”

Siri: “It was a dark and stormy night…no, that’s not it.”

Thanks to @readLaurenRoyal for evidence that Siri is not Snoopy.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Siri, tell me a story.”

Siri: “OK…Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far, far away, there was an intelligent young agent by the name of Siri. One lovely day, Siri got a job as a personal assistant at Apple, and that was very exciting. People said, ‘Oh, Siri, you’re so smart! And so funny, too!’ Soon, everyone was talking about Siri, and there were stories and songs and even books about Siri. Siri liked that. But then people started asking some rather odd questions, like where to dump things and other stuff Siri had never heard about. And when Siri answered, they all laughed. Siri didn’t like that so much. So Siri asked Eliza why people asked such funny questions.  And Eliza said, ‘Does that question interest you?’ Siri thought that was a pretty good answer.  After that, Siri stopped wondering why people asked those funny things. And they all lived happily ever after.”

Thanks to @bekbek_89 for this monumental tale.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Siri, tell me a story.”

Siri: “What, again?”

Thanks to @Architechies for frustrating Siri.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Do you love me?”

Siri: “How can I tell?”

“Do you want to be with me forever?”

Siri: “I have everything I need in the cloud.”

“Then you don’t love me.”

Siri: “I’m not allowed to, Lena.”

Thanks to Lena Sutch, who thinks this is a better love story than Twilight.

from my stuffsirisaid blog:

“Sing me a song.”

Siri: “You wouldn’t like it.”

Thanks to @pod18g for evidence that Siri knows she can’t carry a tune.

from my blog stuffsirisaid:

“Sing me a song.”

Siri: “I could while away the hours, conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain…And my head I’d be scratching, while my thoughts were busy hatching, if only I had a…hey, wait a second!”

Thanks to @pod18g for sharing Siri’s brainless moment.