Crumbs From My Keyboard

What are your interests outside of writing?

Singing, performing in musical theatre, reading and editing (I’m the Senior Editor for Five Star Mysteries).

Describe the most romantic date you’ve ever been on.

I met novelist Gordon Aalborg (aka Victoria Gordon) on the Internet, through an author’s loop. He lived in Australia, I lived in Colorado. Through our emails we fell in love and Gordon asked me to marry him. I said I thought I should meet him first. So I visited him in Tasmania and for our first date he took me to a restaurant that had all my favorite foods. Then — knowing I loved musical theatre — he took me to a local production of Annie Get Your Gun, where the hillbilly-ish Annie Oakley was performed by a lovely woman…with an Aussie accent. Trust me, you’ve never been romanced until you’ve been romanced by a romance author  :)

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.

A date with a guy who’d won an International body-building competition. I thought that date would be “romatic.” We went to HIS favorite restaurant and every head in the room turned my way. Women — and men — stared at me with envy. Frankly, I’d have gladly given him to one (or all) of them. His favorite pose was flexing his biceps, his favorite subject himself. I found “himself” boring.

If you could have any view from your balcony, what would it be?

Colorado’s Rocky Mountains. Oh, wait, I DID have that view from my balcony when I lived in Colorado Springs. I once watched a rainbow appear through a snowstorm. Except for the birth of my daughter, it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

If you could have front row seats to any concert, who would you like to see?

Barbra Streisand. I saw Streisand on Broadway in Funny Girl. When I left the theatre I predicted she’d be a superstar. I screamed, “I’ve just seen the greatest star in the history of the world!” Then I started singing “People.” No one even turned my way. This was, after all, NYC.

What about you would most surprise your readers?

I was the lead singer of a British rock group. Our biggest gig was on a cruise ship, where our most popular songs were: “Happy anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Abramowitz…” and “Happy birthday, dear Shirley…”

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever collected?

A newspaper reviewer compared my singing to Judy Garland’s and, flattered, I started collecting Judy memorabilia. My weirdest piece of memorabilia is a greeting card cartoon of a woman in braids. The caption says: “Traumatized by a bizarre childhood, an adult Dorothy of Kansas wonders why she’s constantly falling for heartless, cowardly men with no brains.”

What’s the worst thing you ever lost?

The lead role in the musical Gypsy. I’ve always wanted to play three roles: Mama Rose in Gypsy, the Madam in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, and Ado Annie in Oklahoma. I achieved part of my dream when I played Annie and sang, “I’m just a girl who cain’t say no…” At the time I had only been married three times. :)

What are your interests outside of writing?

I love to cook, and I have a collection of over 50 cookbooks to prove it. I love to eat. (Thank goodness, because someone has to eat all that food!) I love to hike. (Hallelujah, because those calories need to be worked off somehow!) I love the ocean. Oh, I don’t usually go into it (who knows what’s lurking beneath the blue-green surface?); I just like to lounge on the shore and listen to the rhythmic waves. I love to socialize; I spend hours bouncing from Facebook, to Twitter, to StumbleUpon, to Tumblr, to Google+, to Reddit…and my latest craze—Pinterest!

If you could have any view from your balcony, what would it be?

This is an easy one! The ocean. Which ocean wouldn’t really matter…just give me the sea. Watching the gulls swoop and the clouds scud across the cerulean sky while the sun warms my skin and flashes like diamonds on the aqua water is one of my very favorite pastimes. Okay, that might have been a bit much, but what can I say? I love the beach!

What was your most memorable meal ever?

On Valentine’s Day about 25 years ago, my husband planned a surprise for me. He arranged for a babysitter, he made reservations, he bought flowers, and he took me to one of the fanciest restaurants in town. I don’t remember what we ate; I only remember how overwhelmed I was that he did something so sweet, so romantic. I’ll never forget that night.

Which temptation do you try the hardest to resist?

Dessert. I have a sweet tooth that nags and nags at me. But as I get older, the pounds seem to creep on and it’s harder to get them off and keep them off. It’s a constant battle.

What’s the worst thing you ever lost?

When my son was 4, he got the notion to visit his friend down the street. The problem came when he didn’t tell his mommy. I thought I would lose my mind! I tore through the house, through the yard, through the whole neighborhood. I remember walking right into my neighbor’s house without knocking, wailing that I’d lost my son. And there he was, staring up at me with wide, innocent eyes. I’ve never breathed such a huge sigh of relief!

If you could donate one million dollars to charity, which one would you choose?

I would donate money to cancer research. My wonderful dad battled 5 different kinds of cancer before he died of brain tumors a year and a half ago. If there was any way to keep people from suffering this horrific disease, I’d love to contribute.

If you could have front row seats to any concert, who would you like to see?

Bands and artists of the 70s. Carly Simon, Elton John, Carol King, Billy Joel, Bread, The Doobie Brothers, Eagles, Genesis, Linda Ronstadt, Little River Band…I could go on and on. I love songs I can sing to. If I’m in a blue mood, I’ll turn on some music and sing and dance.

Describe the best birthday you’ve ever had.

When I turned 40, my whole family succeeded in surprising me with a party. And I mean my whole family: my parents, my brothers and their wives, nieces, nephews, my husband and kids. I was absolutely stunned that they were able to keep the secret from me.

What are your interests outside of writing?

I love to read and belong to two book clubs. One gets together for a potluck dinner and wonderful book discussions. The other group meets at a cafe where we can sit outdoors most of the year and talk books and everything else that pops into our heads. I also knit, but make only scarfs which require no reading of patterns or fancy stitches. I have two grown sons with marvelous families and they make every day worthwhile.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.

I belonged to Great Expectations for a while and stated in my profile that I hoped to meet a man who’d be my equal in intelligence, passion, and wit. One man seemed like a match, and we met for dinner at a nice restaurant. He was a handsome man and likable until he asked angrily: What makes you think you’re the equal of any man? I was absolutely stunned and didn’t get up and leave as I should have. My date asked the waiter so many questions, I thought he was more interested in dating him than me. I took home most of my dinner in a carryout carton and never heard from the dolt again. Thank God.

If you could do something dangerous just once with no risk, what would you do?

I’d go white water rafting. It looks like such an amazing adventure. I can swim and love the water, the only problem is I get seasick and would probably not last in the raft.

If you could donate one million dollars to charity, which one would you choose?

Brad Pitt’s Make It Right that is building sustainable homes in New Orleans’ 9th ward that was devastated by Hurricane Katrina. Not nearly enough has been done to help the people who lost everything, and I admire Brad for taking a lead in building energy efficient homes designed for New Orleans.

If you could have any view from your balcony, what would it be?

The Pacific Ocean. My family vacationed on Balboa Island every summer, and I went to the beach often growing up. The sea calls to me and mountains, while beautiful, just sit there. The ocean is never still.

What do you miss most about childhood?

I miss being completely carefree and knowing my loving parents would take care of everything. I’ve never felt grown up and everyone I meet tells me they still feel as though they’re in their 20s or 30s rather than their actual age. It would be so nice to have someone to handle all of life’s details so I could just write.

What was your most memorable meal ever?

We visit a terrific Panda Inn for our family birthdays. It’s a beautiful restaurant and the food is so good, we nearly lick our plates. Their honey walnut shrimp is amazing. Any meal there is memorable.

What makes you laugh the hardest?

My two sons’ banter is better than most radio morning show personalities. They see every situation in a comical light and ought to be doing stand up comedy together.

What are your interests outside of writing?

Reading, watching Formula 1 racing, zumba dancing, yoga, walking, learning to play the piano. And more reading. 

If you could have any view from your balcony, what would it be?

Over Grand Harbour in the island of Malta, in the Mediterranean. As I was an army kid, I was brought up in Germany, Cyprus, and Malta. By the time I was eight-and-a-half, I’d spent five years in Malta, and thought it was home. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really, and we had to leave. I adore the island: the sunshine, the ocean, the people, the history. Whenever I visit, one of the first things I do is go to a place called the Upper Barrakka Gardens, overlooking Grand Harbour, and watch the ships and boats moving around on the blue water that the sunshine sprinkles with diamonds. From the height of the Upper Barrakka it’s possible to see across to the dockyard and marinas on the other side of the harbour, or across parts of the city, Valletta, or nearby Floriana, and I’d love a balcony that would give me the same view. I think that it’s possible from apartments on one side of St Ursula Street, if anyone has one they can lend me …

What advice would you give the younger you?

Don’t be in so much of a hurry to live your life, to grow up, to take on responsibility. Aim higher and think bigger. Relish each phase of your life without impatiently plunging into the next.

What do you miss about childhood?

Malta! Living there was a privilege. Here are a few things I remember:

Lizards and geckos 

Swimming (I passed my first medal before I was six)

Snorkelling — octopus, sea urchins and rainbow-coloured fish

The ocean (I still miss living beside it!)

Funny old-fashioned buses,  a different colour for each route

Golden stone buildings

Loads of churches

Church bells

Going to school in army trucks (the bus drivers were on strike)

The parade ground beside the school; watching the soldiers drill

Fishing

Storms and dangerous seas

Sunshine

Sunstroke

Shops closing for siesta

Dust

Flat roofs with washing lines, TV aerials, and children playing

What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?

The one that springs to mind happened a couple of years ago. I was on an underground train in London with a guy I work with occasionally. There were no seats and we stood near to one of the vertical poles, which I hung on to as we travelled. I tend to wave my arms around as I talk so as we chatted I let go of the pole between stations, until the train began to slow. Then I groped behind me to hang onto the pole again … and found myself groping a man standing behind me, instead.

The word ‘mortified’ was created for this moment. I found myself quite unable to look at the guy and apologise for inadvertently touching him inappropriately, but just babbled, ‘Let me off, let me off!’ to my colleague instead.  ’It’s OK,’ he said, calmly, as he stepped aside to let me off. ‘He’s smiling.’

What’s your strangest or most irrational fear?

I’m sorry if this offends anyone — but I’m slightly scared of beards. I have never been in a romantic relationship with a bearded man or even kissed one on the lips. I like very short stubble; I can see that neat goatees look good on some guys (though I still wish they’d shave it off); but great big beards make me feel weird. I have actually experienced buzzing in my ears when in close proximity to a huge unkempt beard and black beards are the worst. I’m never as at ease with a guy with a beard as I am with a guy who’s close-shaven (jaw lines are so sexy). Why do I feel this way? I have absolutely no idea. I know that beards are natural and that a beard has absolutely bearing on the niceness of the man wearing it. Intellectually, I know this — but, emotionally, my skin crawls. NB I’m not alone. It’s called pogonophobia. 

Who would you like to trade places with for one month?

Somebody who is right in the thick of one of the top teams in Formula 1 motor racing. It would be fabulous to experience the intensity, the highs and the lows, the excitement of being at the racing circuits whilst the best drivers in the world race some of the fastest cars in the world. The Formula 1 circus draws the best, the most beautiful and the most intelligent. The hairs on my neck stand up whenever I hear a Formula 1 engine explode into life.

You just won $100,000, and you have to spend it all on yourself today. No saving, no gifts, no charity allowed. What are you going to buy?

A new car. I love cars and have a particular fondness for little sports cars. It would be black and probably a Porsche or a BMW, but Jaguar and Aston Martin would be right there in the top few if $100,000 would stretch that far. Leather upholstery is a must — also black — a manual shift and a great music system. If there’s enough money left to take a road trip, I’ll do that, too. Now, where shall we go?